I want a normal job with clear deadlines, co-workers, and a tea room. Where I’m actually earning paid maternity leave and get a supermarket-bought cake on my birthday.
I’m tired of waking up and walking a few feet to a chair where I have to force myself, while in complete isolation, to do repetitive research that seems to have an arbitrary deadline.
I agree that society is realising women are ‘just as capable as men’ in the sense that we can do most of the things men designed to suit their own lives. But when will society demand that men be just as capable as women? When will it be the norm for a man to take time off to care for his baby and then work a decade part-time while the kids are little so his wife can succeed in her chosen vocation?
Women are being pulled into the male/capitalist culture of long work hours and competing for promotions, but guys aren’t exactly being pulled in droves into caring responsibilities. Not in Australia. The incentives have to be there, and they’re just not. We need a softening of masculine stereotypes, generous ‘use it or lose it’ paternity leave, shorter work weeks, affordable and accessible community based childcare, and the integration of workplaces and children so that men (and childless people) experience what it’s like to be around children more.
If your boyfriend is the best man isn’t the ‘bucks night’ largely up to him? Archaic traditions like this stay alive because all these manly men are too cowardly to have a simple conversation with their groom friend that goes something like: “isn’t it kind of fucked up that we’re going to have to pay women to take their clothes off in front of us?? and besides you’re just about to commit your life to a woman you love and this is deeply disrespectful to her.”
Instead guys just want to wash their hands of the whole affair. If you’re the groom it was the best man’s fault, he organised it, you just went along for the ride. If you’re the best man you’re just doing what the groom wanted! It would be such a relief to see a guy take some ownership for once and stand up for women.
I have a bit of a problem with wave theory. It seems pretty ageist to me. It assumes second wave feminist ideas had to be pushed aside for a new ‘better’ school of thought. Feminism is too obsessed with the lives of young women. My mum and her generation were (and still are) ‘second wave feminists’ and they’re not irrelevant.
BUT I like how third wave feminism has built on intersectionality theory. Radical feminists of the second wave posited that a person’s sex was the key determinant of their social status, but intersectional theorists have pointed out that race, class, sexuality, education, etc. complicate things.
My big problem with third wave feminism is its belief that power derives from feelings, not from a material reality. I think this attitude is really harmful and we’ll be recovering from the damage it has done for a long time. For example ‘feeling’ empowered by sexual objectification. I think this attitude is indicative of the era in which third wave feminism emerged, during the neoliberal revolution. Examining how structural factors like socioeconomic status determine the decisions people make became uncool, and it was suddenly all about the power of the individual to determine their own destiny irrespective of everything else. This new theory of power has a lot of similarities to the capitalist ‘positive thinking’ movement in my opinion. Like… don’t critically analyse your circumstances, don’t politicise them, just reframe literally everything as positive and empowering and it will all be ok. That way of thinking is such a gift to white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.
Mostly. We’re thinking Fleet Foxes - White Winter Hymnal for a ceremony entrance song and Talking Heads - This Must Be The Place for an exit song (I grew up watching Talking Heads music videos on VHS so I’m pretty obsessed). For post-ceremony champagne and nibbles we’re going to play some mellow music, like songs from Paul Simon’s Graceland album and stuff. My dad’s a big muso so he’s picked a lot of the music for the reception.
I just made some homemade dishwasher tablets and they seem to be holding together pretty well, yayay. Instructions here. Also it’s still winter but it has been sunny all week and is currently 22°C! This gives me hope that our wedding day (only about 8 weeks away now) will be a sunny one.
Whether it’s the extreme lassitude of early pregnancy or something more fundamental, I don’t know; but of late I’ve felt, toward poetry — both reading and writing it — nothing but boredom and indifference. Especially toward my own and that of my immediate contemporaries. When I receive a letter […] [and] someone alludes to my “career” I have a strong sense of wanting to deny all responsibility for and interest in the person who wrote it.
If there is going to be a real break in my writing life, this is as good a time as any. I have been dissatisfied with myself, my work, for a long time.
— Adrienne Rich, diary entry.
No. You are highly mistaken.
The pro-life position is so insane. Unequivocally defend the life of a few cells, but support the state murdering a fully formed human, even though it does nothing to actually reduce crime rates.
I cannot take seriously a pro-life position that does not respect the full spectrum of life, from conception to old age. That means accessible and affordable healthcare and housing, guys. It means not supporting wars, guns, police militarisation, and the unequal distribution of wealth. Why can’t you see the blatant inconsistency in your position?